Sunday, November 03, 2013

Public Disservice Announcement

A few days ago on a busy bus, a woman decided to talk to her friend on the phone about how terrible the commute was. She was boisterous, and many people on the bus were disturbed by her rantings. Ordinarily, I wouldn't just post a video of an annoying person. She was so flamboyantly loud, but initially I tried to shrug off my feelings about her rudeness.

When I got off the bus to board the next one, she followed, and she was still complaining. Once I had found a seat on the new bus, she sat down right next to me, proceeding to complain a little more.

Aptly perturbed by her public tirade, I then decided to videotape her.




Draw your own conclusions.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Deus ex machina

A few weeks ago while riding the bus, a woman began to shout about the end of the world. She spoke to a crucifix around her neck, and loudly accused everyone in the nation of depravity. Her vehemence was palpable; everyone around was uncomfortable. Clearly, she believed she was the voice of God, no longer issuing a warning about the danger of leading a sinful life - she claimed everyone was headed for hell.

The woman said that all would come before her throne and see her face before she sent them off to burn. She stated that we would then see our "creator" (i.e. Satan in the guise of Obama). Her mannerisms were at times seething and at others, quite vociferous. All in all, it was shocking to watch.

Enter the harbinger...


(Please forgive the ambient bus noise)

Draw your own conclusion.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Friends without benefits

Just an ordinary game at a Denny's. It's a dollar per chance to hook a stuffed animal with the claw. Everyone knows this game is for suckas. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that you could put in $20: then the game allows you to play until you win. 

Twenty dollars?! 

Who's got that kinda money to spend on a shitty-ass poorly-stuffed Smurf?


I examined the machine again, and found an even better observation. 

Check out this picture:


Better make sure your friends are licensed. 
You never know: their credentials may have been faked.


Draw your own conclusions.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Auto Correct

Need your car realigned? 


Come & see the Wheel Alignmen! 

These men will align your wheels with class.

Draw your own conclusion.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Ides of August

I started smoking cigarettes the last week of July.

I already know that it was a dumb idea, so don't you dare get preachy on me.

I haven't smoked for more than five years, for the purpose of staying healthy. Now I'm thinking of this whole thing like a science experiment: a chance for me to say that I can do whatever I want whenever I want. A chance for me to exert my willpower over a concept as retarded as cigarette-smoking for the unaddicted. And I've got to tell you, it's nice.

It's nice to say "I don't really care" from time to time.

I know that I am back to smoking on-the-regular now, here in the ides of August. I smoke somewhere between six and ten cigarettes per day (and on some days I smoke even more than that). Mostly I smoke after a meal or on a walk. And I feel alright with it (for now).

I acknowledge that this is temporary, and I plan to quit by the end of August.

Reactions from others have been myriad. Most people are turned-off by the idea, not wanting to be around it. Many are perplexed to see me smoke. I brandished a cigarette at my weekly frisbee game and one of the players (Michael) found it to be an unwise decision. I know he's right, but again, this is temporary. I'm not going to hide it from anyone - I even told my Mom I started to smoke again. As a staunch non-smoker, I believe she took it fairly well.

I've felt the sluggishness, the cravings. My clothes stink like cigarettes and I generally smell bad now, smoky. I see how expensive cigarettes are. That's probably the worst part about this experiment: how much fuckin' money these tobacco companies make off of people's addictions.

I'm not afraid. I need to challenge my willpower.

I want the freedom to say that I can do what I want when I want.
And this is the worst-and-yet-most-definitive way to prove it.
Hate it (as much as I do) if you like.

And draw your own conclusions.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Shadowboxing Hobo

Just before a meeting in Westwood yesterday, I saw this homeless guy. He was fixated upon a face on the cover of a magazine. I kept waiting for him to punch right through the glass of the newspaper box. He seemed to be in his own little world.

Then, to my chagrin
he approached me.
Sane as a scientist.


Draw your own conclusions.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Let’s walk to the construction site!


Last Wednesday, I took the bus to get to work: a construction site in Hawthorne. I was supposed to take the bus all the way to the Green Line station. By mistake, I got off the bus too soon. So I decided to make the best of it and take a few pictures along the way. 


The bus I was on took me to a stop near the airport, so I took some pictures of the airplanes during my walk. This is Aviation Blvd.





Along the way I walked past The Proud Bird. If you’ve never visited, this is a terrific restaurant. It is surrounded by the flying machines of a bygone era. Also, there are a couple of tables fit with headsets – you can actually listen to the pilots and air traffic controllers as you witness planes coming in for a landing! I’m not even that into planes and I love this place.






Here I walked past a beautiful tree surrounded with flowers. There were not very many other trees nearby; this made me wonder if a tree is capable of loneliness. Then I wondered if trees were capable of being happy. This tree looked very happy to be surrounded by flowers (despite its loneliness).


Saw this on the backside of a street sign. Maybe it says “PATRICE.” I like to believe it says “PORRIGE,” cause that would be an awesome tag name.

 

This just looked beautiful to me, in an urban sort of way.


This is the first site I work at. We are building an enormous office for our magnanimous employer, Nikki Tolt. Here are some various shots of the building in its current state.


 



This is where a waterfall will be constructed. The pattern on the wall is made of stones from India; the design is a variation of a geometric pattern called “tumbling blocks.”

 
That’s my boss, Tim Carter.


Below the waterfall is a “pond” near the entrance to the building. My boss created a tunnel going from this pond to another pool inside the building. Nikki plans to put koi in the pond, where they can swim back and forth as they please. Pretty cool, huh?
 


This is the inner pool.



A couple more shots of the site.



This is the latest phase of the project, the fence. Tim and Nikki came up with the design together. We have just set the post into the concrete below, now we’re in the process of welding the panels to the fenceposts. It’s going to look beautiful.
 

The other location I work at is just down the street, less than a block away. We are building a temporary office for Nikki while we complete the construction on the first building. We have just finished the demolition phase, as you can see.



The upstairs interior of the building is a 2 by 4 labyrinth with electrical vines crawling up the walls and ceiling. Soon we will be sanding the floors down, which will be sealed and stained. There are about six or seven guys working on this job on any given day, so it should be completed by the end of August.

And finally, here is the patio outside my office. For a more detailed look at the interior, please visit a former post, entitled Scan and Shred.


Thanks for visiting! And, as always…


Draw your own conclusions.

Thursday, August 01, 2013

Sam and Elmer

Saw these skaters doing 360 kickflips
in a parking lot near Venice and Motor.

 

After getting their names, I attempted to get some more footage: unfortunately, the battery in my shitty mobile phone decided to die on me. (I swear I'm going to throw it into a blazing fire someday).

Sam and Elmer rocked! These guys could execute their moves almost seamlessly. In one crucial moment however, Sam happened to lose his footing, rocketing his board out into the street. A lady ran over it with her car with a raucous crunching sound. God was she pissed off!

"You shouldn't be skateboarding in the street!" she said.

"Sorry," he said, humbly.

"It looks like it got caught in your exhaust," a random passerby added. 

"Do you think I could try and get it?" Sam said to the driver. She just shrugged her shoulders at him, acquiescent. She seemed to be a little too concerned for her car; less so for Sam's well-being. 

Sam leapt under the car and grabbed the board. After he returned to the sidewalk the irate woman sped off in a huff. I watched Sam examine the board for a moment.

"It looks pretty good," I said. "Any damage?"

"Nope - I think it's good!" He was relieved.

Sam rode his board over to where Elmer had been doing more kickflips. Back to the rigors of skating, where practice makes perfect.


~


Draw your own conclusion.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Ugly Wallet #2

I purchased a wallet recently. 

When I bought it, I found it ugly.




And yet, it's a pretty sturdy wallet.


The bulbs on the surface of the Genuine Leather are scuffed.
 And you can see where the holes are beginning to poke through.




All-in-all, it looks quite good...






...for an ugly wallet.






The "leather" appears to be holding up.
Even on the inside of the wallet.








Can you see the zipper from there? 
Look closer.










I can even fit my keys in here!








Look even closer.





I could fit everything in there!

 And there's no wear-and-tear here at all.







And it would've been a great, ugly wallet,
instead of just a good one...



Were it not for this.




This wallet cost me five dollars.

It has lasted twenty-five days.



Draw your own conclusion.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Judgmentality, and mirror poem


No one wants to answer the question: 
Am I judgmental?


Well, am I?


I can't speak for anyone but myself: I must be judgmental. 

Make no mistake! I don't want-to-be judgmental, but I am. I try to treat everyone just the same, love my neighbor as I would love my own, and shit like that. "I don't judge," I hear people say (myself included). Don't get me wrong now; I try my darnedest not-to-be offensive.

God, even the word offensive is offensive!
(The fact that I chose not to edit that
could be considered offensive.)

~


Is everyone judgmental, then?


Again, I can't speak for anybody else. In fact, best to take it a step further: I don't care if anyone else wants to judge me. (I've heard people say that too.) Do I care though? I mean, I want to be nice, at least. I wouldn't want to anyone to get hurt. I wouldn’t want to make waves... etc. Bo-ring!


"so what then, are you saying I'm judgmental"


You be you. I be me.

(Thank you, guts.)

~     ~     ~

mirror chant

I see myself
Not, not myself -

Looking-glass spot.

Then I thought up
How to see myself

See myself
Not-not
 
      ~     ~     ~

Judgmentality, Thoughts of;
When no man nodded to me
It created an unclean heart
And I meant no dis
Honorable mention

Given unto you
The gift of your nod
Thy revels they’re
Cling there to you

~

What is meant
By fearing this
Believing that
When the rest is but
Honorable Mention


      ~     ~     ~


Had to pull a Real Estate sign
 out of the ground
 at my construction job.

Tim snapped this picture.


Draw your own conclusions.


Saturday, July 27, 2013

Scan and Shred

My occupation requires me to scan and shred. First, I scan sensitive legal or medical documents. Next, I shred them. Sounds easy right? It sure is. With that said, you probably wouldn't want to do this job... Watch the video to catch a good glimpse of my workspace.



What have I gotten myself into?!

Draw your own conclusions.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Southwest Imperialist

One more exercise in the mundane.
(Please observe from a computer for the full effect.)

Draw your own conclusions.

Sunday, July 07, 2013

Left Behind

Last week, while walking to the bus stop,
I found objects that were left behind.

Somewhere in the ten mile zone around Beverly Hills,
a woman left her boot near a bench.
Wait, hang on, that's sexist.
That could totally be some manly-man's boot.

~

And then again,
someone left their neatly hung shirt
on a chain-link fence on Robertson Boulevard.
A button-down shirt hanging outside a Jewish temple.
The sleeves were rolled up a bit.
(My kinda style.)

~

Pico Boulevard. Here we have a spiffy pair of leathern shoes.
What happened to the man
(or woman)
who wore these shoes?
They could be walking down Pico shoeless right now.
Maybe they got new shoes, but why leave behind
your sweet-ass clodhoppers?
(No, they didn't fit me.)


But why,
I asked myself, 
has everyone left behind their clothes?

 
And then I figured it out.
 It was because that day was July Fifth,
 which is the day after Independence Day,
 a day when people notoriously get drunk.


Draw your own conclusions.